Bang on the Blank Page - November 2011 - BS-C

By Will Hindmarch

This article was originally published on Will Hindmarch's tumblr, April 14, 2011. His tumblr can be found at http://wordstudio.tumblr.com/

I write out of fear. A wolf is out here. I bang on the blank page because I want to be let inside. I leave inky, bloody handprints on it, that bright white door. I want to go inside where the wolf can’t reach me.

I write because I want to be the kind of person who has written, who has published this essay, that novel, yon poem. I want to be one of the people inside, where the air is cozy warm and the food was never frozen. I hear it’s nice in there, that the authors never worry, or at least can relax sometimes, or at least know that they’ve done good. I hear, also, that all that’s untrue, that memories of the wolf are enough to chill the bones, that you may get inside but you never really get warm, not all the way.

The thing is, I’ve been inside before. Not here, but other places. It was okay.

Truth is, I love to write. I love to run through the woods, in dark or day, slipping sometimes on the snow, leaping over logs and ducking pine branches, on my way from house to house. I love finding fresh doors on old houses and banging on the blank page, leaving inky, bloody handprints behind. I’ve been bitten before, but I come out here anyway because, fuck and damn it, I love to run.

So if you hear me pounding on your door, please do let me in. Just, maybe, not right away.

Will Hindmarch (@wordwill) is a writer, graphic designer, game designer, and mooncalf. He co-founded Gameplaywright Press and recently contributed to The Thackery T. Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities. Find him online at www.wordstudio.net.