posted 18 May 2001

Taking the Ooze out of Schmooze: Networking Tips for Beginning Writers
by Lyda Morehouse
www.lydamorehouse.com

Known to her writing colleagues as the "Queen of Schmooze" and possibly some other unprintable things, Lyda Morehouse has been writing science fiction and fantasy professionally for several years. You can find her short stories in Tales of the Unanticipated and Science Fiction Age. Lyda's first novel Archangel Protocol has just been published by Roc, an imprint of Penguin Putnam.

When most people think about schmoozing they think of sleazy, oily-haired, gold-medallion wearing, polyester-suited Hollywood agent shouting, "Love you, love your work! Let's do lunch!" The word schmoozing brings up images of false promises followed by a plethora of insincere air-kisses. The whole thought of being involved in a schmooze leaves one feeling "slimed" and covered with ooze.

Despite schmoozing's oozy connotation, Webster's official definition is: "to converse informally. Chat." In other words, schmoozing is really just networking outside of the normal business environment. Networking can be vital to a writer's career. While it is true that the most important thing a writer does is write, it doesn't hurt to have connections in the business.

Although schmoozing is no guarantee that your next manuscript will sell, it is certain to make conferences and parties more fun. We all know that writing is a lonely business. The more people you know in your field, the more connected you feel. Getting to know other writers, as well as editors and agents, can help you get a better sense of how your chosen profession works. You might even find someone who is farther along in her or his career to act as a coach or mentor.

So, how do you meet these people? You chat; you schmooze.

First, of course, you need to ferret out where editors, agents, and other professional writers congregate. One place to meet like-minded people is to join professional organizations. No matter what kind of writing you do, there's very likely a professional organization for it, many have local chapters that host all sorts of things from informal membership meetings to big conferences and conventions. Some are selective in their membership, requiring you to have a professional level publication before you can join, like SFWA (the Science Fiction Writers of America). But others are open to new writers, such as Broad Universe, the National Writers Union (NWU), the Loft, SASE: The Write Place, Romance Writers of America (RWA), MIFWA (Minnesota Imaginative Fiction Writers of America), and the Screenwriters Guild. A web search will probably turn up any number of organizations that you can join.

You can also form or find a writers' or readers' group. Talking to peers about your profession is a great way to share the load of trying to figure out how to "work the system." There is a surprising amount you can learn from other writers, not the least of which is who they know. One of the big rules of schmoozing is that people know people. For every person you meet, you also meet all of that person's friends and contacts. Plus, it's difficult for one person to read all the trade magazines, fiction magazines, market newsletters, and web sites. When you have a good working writers' group, you also have the advantage of all your peers' acquired knowledge of the business as well. If you join a writers' group that also critiques, you can work on your craft while networking.

As I mentioned above, many local professional organizations host conventions and conferences. Many are inexpensive if you sign up early. Some of them, like science fiction conventions, have panels of professionals talking about the business. The night life at a convention also provides parties and mingling galore.

Okay, so now you've found other writers and industry professionals. How do you keep from being a wallflower?

As George Michael once crooned, "you've got to have faith." Easy to say, but hard to do. I know because the very first time I had a perfect schmooze opportunity, I blew it.

My all-time favorite writer in the universe, Orson Scott Card, came to Minneapolis a couple of years ago, and I took an hour off work to go see him at his signing at Uncle Hugo's Bookstore. The posters the bookstore had sent out all warned of a huge crowd, so when I walked into the shop I expected to be a face in a mob. But there sat my idol all by himself at a little table in the back. A perfect opportunity! Did I approach him confidently? Did I even tell him my name? No. In fact, I hid behind the shelves and peered at him fearfully through gaps in the books. When I finally got up the nerve to ask for my books to be signed, we exchanged two or three words, and I fled.

When I relayed this story to my writers group, many nodded in understanding. But one of the other writers said, "Oh, the same thing happened to me! Only I stayed and chatted with him for a half an hour at least!" There was nothing about my fellow writer that screamed slick networker. I'd actually imagined myself as more personable than this individual, and generally more out going. So I asked myself, why couldn't I do what she'd done?

That's when I decided to take the ooze out of schmooze for good!

In order to get there, however, the first thing I had to do was convince myself that it was okay to talk to professionals, be they published writers, editors or reviewers. Like most newbie writers I'd heard plenty of admonishments not to corner every editor I met, and, for goodness sake, I was never to attempt to push my 50-pound manuscript to the arms of an unwilling victim. Thanks to this advice, I was too petrified to approach any professional for fear of being labeled aggressive or worse, rabidly UNprofessional. I was certain that my mere proximity set off warning bells in the preternatural minds of all professionals and that they somehow sensed I was a desperate, wannabe writer.

The truth is, many professionals don't want to talk about their job when they're at the places you're likely to met them — writers conferences or book signings. Editors, especially, have been on the job all week and a weekend conference is often a chance for them to relax. Certainly it is true that you shouldn't expect to make a business deal within seconds of meeting anyone. In fact, I've learned that contacts made solely with business deals in mind never work out. It's the people that I've genuinely made friends of that have done me the most "favors" in the business.

Also, if you attend a publishing party with mingling on the mind, people can sense your insincerity. The same way you can tell a politician, who's just interested in pressing palms, people can tell when you're just looking for a business connection.

What I've learned is that, often, if I go to conventions with the mindset of "I will talk to one new person today" and "I will concentrate on having fun," I can attract the people who can help my career to me. I also purposefully go with friends who are even more outgoing than I've learned to be. One of my favorite stories about this actually involves my friend Pam Keesey, editor of Daughters of Darkness: Lesbian Vampire Stories and Women who Run with Werewolves: Tales of Blood, Lust and Metamorphosis. I met Pam just by chance at a convention and we hit it off right away. Pam is one of those lucky few who possess a lot of personal charisma, and attracts positive attention wherever she goes. Once, we were at a TOR party at Minicon having far too much fun with some of the people there. Somewhere well after midnight she turned to me and whispered, "Who is this Gardner-guy, anyway?" I laughed, and told her she'd been spending the night telling dirty jokes to Gardner Dozois, editor of Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine, Guest of Honor at the convention, and arguably the single most powerful man in the science fiction short story industry.

The thing is, she'd had no idea. If she'd only known exactly who she'd been talking to, she might not have been so free with the jokes that Gardner clearly enjoyed. The magic of that moment was that Pam treated this capital E, Editor just like a regular human being. That's the key. If I'd only thought that way about Orson Scott Card — sitting there at Uncle Hugo's, probably bored out of his mind, as desperate to talk to anyone, as I was to talk to him — I wouldn't have fled in fear. But, in my own mind, I'd convinced myself that he was a star, a celebrity, someone who was far removed from the human race, above it all, especially me, who was just a bother, a nuisance to his greatness.

Once I realized that editors and professional writers were people too. I realized I could have things in common with them. I realized that I might even have something they needed.

Of course, when opportunities like that knock, you do have to be willing to do the work. You need to be professional, courteous, prompt, grateful, and all those things the Girl/Boy Scouts taught you about being a square citizen. That's how you get asked back, and that's how your name gets passed by your friend to the next person who can offer you writing work, a chance to speak on a radio show, or what have you. I once asked Eric Heideman, editor of Tales of the Unanticipated and curator of the science fiction SASE: The Write Place readings, why he'd picked me, a virtual unknown writer, to do a reading. He said, "Well, I remembered the thank you note you sent me" for another job I'd done for him. Just like any job interview, it never hurts to be friendly and professional!

I've learned to make the most of any opportunity, too. I now send out press releases to local newspapers any time I have a reading or an even vaguely writerly gig. Most of the time I get ignored, but, once focusPOINT reporter Rachel Gold decided to write an article about me–at the time I had only a few short stories published in small presses. She confessed her reason for asking for an interview was because I'd noted on my press release that I was the moderator for the Loft's Open Group for science fiction, and she was looking for a writers group. She joined my group, and I appeared in a local paper. As our friendship grew, she offered me an opportunity to do movie reviews on a regular basis for focusPOINT, something I'd always wanted to try. I no longer write for them, but when I did I learned a lot about deadlines and non-fiction writing. Plus, I got the joy of seeing my name in print every other week.

I know this may seem like a lot for the shy, beginning writer to accomplish, but just remember the vision of me hiding behind the books at Uncle Hugo's. If I can get up the courage to do these things, anyone can.

Quickie Pointers for Schmoozers

• The law of Karma. You have to be willing to do as much for the people you schmooze, as you're expecting them to do for you. People think that those of us who schmooze have it easy. The truth is, we're successful because we volunteer when asked, sometimes even before we're asked. Once word gets around that you're dependable, opportunities seem to come out of the woodwork–of course, in reality, you've earned every one.

• Take a RISK. If you met someone who you think is really cool, take a risk and tell them just that. Opportunities and friends aren't always going to come to you; sometimes you have to pursue them.

• Confidence is sexy. You have to have faith that you are interesting to the people you're trying to meet, as they are (potentially) to you. In fact, you should keep in mind the possibility that there is something you can give this person that no one else can (a contact, some information, etc.)

• Insincerity is transparent. You can not successfully schmooze someone you don't like. Just laughing at an editor's lame jokes is not going to get your story featured in the next issue of her magazine. However, if you have an established friendship with her, over time, she might be willing to coach you and consider your work more carefully.

• Laughter is infectious. Though it is true that you have to be willing to volunteer in order to build a reputation, if schmoozing starts to feel like work, stop. Sometimes you can't make a connection with someone because you're pushing too hard. Try to be the kind of person who brings the party with them. People will want to talk to you if you're having fun.

• Gratefulness is appreciated. When you do get a gig through someone remember to thank them. Simple gestures that say "thanks" are appreciated and will make that person more willing to send someone or something else your way again.

• Nobody owes you nothin'. The single most important thing you should remember when schmoozing is that the universe owes you exactly nothing. People who do you favors, do so because they see you as deserving in some way (likely because of something you did for them or someone else.)

• Ask for what you want. There comes a time when you simply have to ask in order to receive. Knowing when, where, and how to ask can be tricky, however, so be careful when applying this rule.

• The rungs of the ladder communicate. The laws of karma work both ways. Stepping on people mercilessly on your way to the top is not going to engender friendship or get you gigs. If you're a user, it'll get around just as quickly (if not quicker!) than if you're dependable. Be careful how you treat people.

• Say "no" occasionally. Even though you should take most opportunities as they arise, sometimes saying "yes" can be detrimental. Only do gigs that you know you can do successfully. Overbooking can lead to doing things halfway, which, if you want a callback, you should never do. If you have to take a rain check, make sure the person offering knows you're willing to do something else some other time.

• Six degrees of separation. Everyone has contacts. The person you dismiss as Joe Schmoe, could turn out to have a friend in the radio business who's desperate for authors to interview. It's never worth your time to snub anyone.

• Do onto others redux. When you're finally in a position to recommend someone to someone, do it. Say you finished that radio gig and the interviewer says, "Hey, do you know any other authors willing to do something like this?" Have a list ready with names and contact information and hand it to him. If you can help an author friend by demanding their books be on the bookshelves of your favorite store, do it. Even if your friends never know about the favor you did, you've done something good. That always comes back to you.

• Keep at it. Really schmoozing is all about getting to know people. Friendship doesn't happen overnight. Getting to know people involves a major investment of your time and energy. You have to make time for lunches out, to go to parties, conventions, workshops, classes, and so on. Schmoozing is a job that's never done.