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July 2010
KEEP ’EM IN SUSPENSE!
By E. F. Watkins
E. F. Watkins specializes in paranormal thrillers and mysteries. Her novel Dance with the Dragon won the 2004 EPPIE in Horror, and her s-f thriller Black Flowers was a 2006 EPPIE finalist in Action/Thriller. She also has published the romantic mystery Ride a Dancing Horse and the paranormal thrillers Paragon and Danu’s Children.
What should be your main goal in any piece of writing?
To demonstrate your elegant command of the English language? To create word pictures that will sweep your reader away to a different, exotic world? To combine all the elements that editors say are “hot” right now, so your book will be a sure-fire best-seller?
No. Your main goal is to keep the reader turning the pages!
Obviously, she will never get the chance to appreciate your complex, clever plot, multi-dimensional characters or deep insights into human nature if she loses interest after the first chapter. Nor will she ever thrill to that dramatic climax worthy of the big screen if she puts down you book halfway through and never picks it up again.
How do you keep the reader hooked? Suspense!
We associate that word with thrillers of various kinds, but every story needs an element of suspense to hold the reader’s attention. Even the most “cozy” mystery revolves around the question “Who done it?” A romance teases us by asking, “Will they or won’t they end up together?” And though we sort of know they will, if you’ve put enough obstacles in the way, the question becomes “How?”
Questions should start from the very beginning. Writers sometimes are advised to “put the protagonist in terrible trouble” on the first page. This may be an exaggeration, but even if the heroine isn’t in actual danger, she should face an immediate struggle for something she wants very much.
I recently won a small on-line contest for Best Opening Line with this sentence: “Without meaning to, Camilla Torres had picked a good place to die.” I wrote it by instinct, wanting to pull the reader in as quickly as possible, but there are a few practical reasons why it works. We know nothing about Camilla Torres, but we feel sorry for anyone who, without realizing it, is about to die. And what is “a good place to die”? That sounds like the opinion of her would-be killer, and it is.
After that, I can afford to take a little time describing the atmosphere of a deserted community garden in Spanish Harlem at night, because my reader already knows poor Camilla hasn’t got long to live. This kind of hook can be used to start off any chapter, or any scene, where you really want to rivet the reader.
How you end a chapter or scene is equally important. There are all sorts of ways to compel your reader to plunge ahead, even though it’s late and she has to get up for work the next day, because she’s got to find out what happens next. The most obvious device is a surprise twist — at the end of a happy scene, something shocking or frightening takes place, or just as the character sees no way out of his predicament, a ray of hope appears. Of course, not every ending should be a melodramatic cliffhanger, but keeping the reader a little off-balance will also keep her interested. More on this trick later.
On the most basic level, conflict builds suspense.
You may have to insert a fairly quiet scene to reveal some background information and get your story from Point A to Point B. If you can add some outer conflict — such as a mild argument between two characters — or inner conflict — the protagonist is uneasy in the setting or mentally trying to solve an urgent problem — it will help keep your reader wondering what’s going to happen next.
There are several other devices that successful authors use to keep readers on the edges of their seats. I’ve chosen mostly examples from mystery, horror and thriller plots, but they also can be adapted for gentler stories such as romances.
- Give the hero a weakness: The protagonist of Fear Nothing by Dean Koontz suffers a rare allergy to daylight. Father Karras in The Exorcist is plagued by a lack of faith. Heroines usually start out with the built-in disadvantages of less muscular strength and the tendency of some men not to take them very seriously. We’ve all seen the detective who drinks too much under stress, or suffers guilt from the time he reacted impulsively and shot an innocent person. It may be a cliché, but it serves a purpose. Any physical or psychological handicap makes us worry that the protagonist just might not have what it takes to succeed.
- Give the hero a deadline: Some thrillers note the date and time at the beginning of each chapter, to remind us a bomb will explode or a killer virus will be unleashed unless the villain can be stopped. But the “ticking clock” device can be more subtle, as when we discover a kidnap victim needs a dose of insulin, the serial killer’s M.O. suggests he’ll do it again soon, or the mayor of Amity plans to reopen the beaches for Memorial Day. The consequences don’t have to be violent — in a romance, one of the lovers may be about to marry someone else or leave the country or the planet.
- Make your reader care about the GOOD characters: In your quieter scenes, make your people real and likeable, so the reader doesn’t want to see them suffer or die. One complaint I have about a lot of horror novels is that the secondary characters are so selfish and shallow, I’m happy to see the monster pick them off! On the other hand, don’t make your protagonist so brave, pure and selfless that the reader can’t identify. The reluctant hero who rises to the occasion because he must usually seems more realistic. Also, allow him or her to feel genuine fear while nevertheless doing what needs to be done. Think of Clarice Starling in The Silence of the Lambs or Ripley in Alien.
- Create an unpredictable villain: Your villain also should be fascinating in some way, not totally repellent or a cardboard boogeyman — think of Thomas Harris’ complex psychopaths. If a bad guy is ugly, stupid and vicious just for the hell of it, he becomes boring because he’s predictable. You know that, given the chance, he’ll always do something nasty, while cackling and twirling his moustache. But the villain who’s sometimes charming and civilized — you never know when he’ll show his true colors! Plus, intelligent, decent people are more likely to trust him and end up as his victims.
- Foreshadow the threat: If your hero will battle your villain using a special weapon, or in a distinctive locale, plant it earlier in the story. In The Exorcist, we’re told the window of Regan’s room looks down on a steep flight of steps long before Father Karras dives to his suicide. In Hideaway, Dean Koontz describes a deserted funhouse so vividly that we know the final confrontation between the hero and the villain must take place there.
- Bring the threat closer and closer to home: If there’s a serial killer or supernatural monster on the loose, the first victim usually is someone the heroine hardly knows. Later, though, the bad guy should attack characters we’ve come to care about, drawing ever closer to the hero or heroine. And of course, once he realizes the protagonist is investigating him, he’ll want to eliminate that person even more!
- Present difficult moral choices: Will your hero make a deal with one villain in hopes of trapping another? Will he try to capture the monster or alien creature alive to study it, even if this might endanger more people? Will he stake a vampire or shoot a werewolf, knowing the police may hold him for murder? Will he use a friend or family member as bait if it increases his chances of nailing the killer? Is she tempted to let a guilty person go free because she feels his crime was justified in some way? All of these questions keep the reader wondering how things will turn out.
- End each chapter with a cliffhanger: The heroine suddenly notices a clue or makes a mental connection that escaped her before. The hero seems to be making progress in his search for the killer when things suddenly take a turn for the worse. We get into the villain’s mind and learn he is one jump ahead of the hero, or his plan is even more dastardly than anyone realizes. These twists can be subtle most of the time, but major when you need a climactic moment in your book.
- Kill off your best suspect — or your best hope: In a mystery, all evidence may point to a particular character until he turns up dead. In a thriller or horror novel, your hero may be counting on an expert such as a scientist, exorcist or Van Helsing type, until the mentor suffers an untimely demise. After his Obi-Wan Kenobi or Yoda disappears, the less-experienced protagonist must forge on alone!
- Put a traitor close to your hero: The protagonist has confided in a partner, friend, lover or spouse, only to find out that person is in league with the killer — or is the killer! One of my idols, Ira Levin, used this device in both Rosemary’s Baby and The Stepford Wives. Sometimes in a cozy mystery, the sleuth’s seemingly harmless and bird-brained new friend turns out to be smarter than she appears — and also the murderer. In numerous vampire, werewolf and Body Snatcher-alien plots, someone close to the protagonist is “converted” near the end to threaten him. Again, it might be predictable, but it still makes us worry for the unsuspecting hero or heroine.
- Make ‘em wait for it: Non-stop action can actually undercut suspense. If we know something ominous that the protagonist doesn’t know, let us twist for a while, wondering when it will catch up with her. Announce something startling at the end of a chapter, then devote your next chapter to some aspect of the subplot. By the time you finally satisfy our curiosity, we’ve bitten our nails down to nubs!
- Draw out the ending: When a reader complains that the ending of a book was a letdown, she often means that after 400 pages of buildup, it was over too fast. In a mediocre book, the ending often feels as if the writer just got tired, or bored, or had to wrap it up quickly to meet a deadline.
You’ll notice that blockbuster books often have a couple of false endings before the real one, like a fireworks display with a few crescendos before they finally shoot off the works. You don’t necessarily have to take it that far. But if you load up your protagonist with challenges near the end, and it takes all her courage and intelligence to triumph, your reader will be more likely to close the book thinking, “Wow, what a great story!”
OTHER SOURCES:
Writers Digest: Nine Tricks to Writing Suspense Fiction
ThrillerWriters: Ten Rules for Suspense Fiction
Plotting and Writing Suspense Fiction Patricia Highsmith
St. Martin’s Griffin, September 2001
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